


maybe I should tell those stories separately

by persephassax



Series: FlashVibe Week 2017 [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Holidays, M/M, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 16:48:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13104396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/persephassax/pseuds/persephassax
Summary: Barry has mistletoe, but Cisco isn't feeling the holiday cheer. But an apology and things long over due ultimately get them under the little poisonous plant.





	maybe I should tell those stories separately

**Author's Note:**

> Title from ASW 387
> 
> WARNING: deals with Cisco thinking about Dante's death. Also Cisco is maybe practicing avoidant behavior. But I promise it all works out in the end.
> 
> Seriously unbeta'd. I apologize.

Cisco wonders if STAR Labs and the extrajudicial nature of Team Flash let's them qualify as a “workplace” or not. Mostly because he wants to know if he can mount a legitimate argument that this kind of Christmas cheer constitutes a violation of their (probably) non-existent sexual harassment policy.

Barry is cheerfully zipping around decked out in a red sweater and reindeer antlers Cisco designed specifically to withstand supersonic speeds (and if he’d only known what would happen he wouldn't have), using his ridiculously long arms to wave mistletoe over people’s heads. Obviously, Barry is a giant bundle of fluff and happiness so no one is forced to kiss anyone in any way they don't feel comfortable with, but most people who work with them are comfortable enough to express some measure of physical affection.

He got Harry and Jesse, the former grabbing his daughter into a giant bearhug and kissing her on the side of the head while she squirmed and laughed.  He waved it over Caitlin and Iris’ heads and Iris leaned in and pressed a heartfelt smooch on Caitlin’s cheek. He even got Wally and Jax, who shared a chaste, close-mouthed kiss, after a breathless moment of silent negotiation via raised eyebrows.Then Cisco feels a light breeze and takes a fortifying breath and looks up. Harry is standing next to him, and Barry looks ridiculous trying to get the mistletoe over the Earth-2 scientist’s head. It's pathetically easy for him to catch Cisco under it, because he’s been sitting at his computer, half-heartedly ignoring everyone and not really succeeding.

Cisco feels his scowl and, looking at Barry, who is flushed with good cheer, radiating excitement and nervous energy in equal measure, little reindeer antlers quivering on his head, he feels guilty. Barry sees the look on his face and freezes. Harry’s eyes are sharp but his tone is purposefully blase, as he says, “What, Ramon? Scared to show people how much I really mean to you?” Cisco thinks there’s something a little mean in his eyes.

“You don't have to,” Barry says quickly, tripping over himself to give Cisco an out.

Cisco feels intensely bad for the way Barry seems to be drooping, his shoulders slumping, a mildly panicked expression overtaking his face, the buzz of his restless energy going sharp with anxiety rather than excitement and happiness.

Cisco doesn’t really want to be a grinch, he doesn’t, but the holidays have never been easy; too much family, too much food, too many things, and things have only gotten harder with Dante’s death. He’s moved past resenting Barry for his brother’s death, and he’s so happy to be reunited in friendship with this man who has become such a huge part of his life, but this low buzz of good humor makes him tired.

He knows he’s bringing the mood of the room down, so he makes some half-assed excuse about not having had enough coffee and gets up. He grabs his coat and heads for the front door of STAR Labs, leaving a bubble of quiet behind him, and hoping that Caitlin will make the right kinds of excuses for him. When he gets outside the cold hits him like a wall of ice, and his breath clouds up in front of him. He tucks his nose into his collar and heads off to Jitters. There’s no reason to be more of a liar than he needs to be.

* * *

Jitters isn’t really an improvement, if Cisco is entirely honest. There are too many people wearing christmas sweaters, and there are little lights twinkling on strands of tinsel in the window. Some kind of christmas jazz is playing over the speakers—too much piano for him to rest easy with it playing in the background—he speaks as little as possible to the person who takes his order. Their white blond hair contrasts with the red and green of the little elf hat they’re wearing and he thinks that maybe if he was less tired he might even find the whole thing cute.

He sits down and drinks his coffee, which he ordered hot and black, in punishment for his sour mood. And stares at his own reflection in the dark window. Somewhere near half-way through his cup, the later afternoon gloom is filled with fat, wet snowflakes that drift down made up of white light and orange shadows, in the shafts of light coming from the street lamps.

He sits there until after his coffee is past lukewarm and edging into the territory of “cold” and finally when it’s completely dark out and the after work crowd has thinned and only the students frantically typing away on their computers remain, he sucks back the dregs and gets up to go back out.

* * *

He lets out a sigh when he gets back to STAR Labs to find it quiet and dark. Everyone is gone, families dispersed and hopefully snuggled up warm and bright in their living rooms together. He’s hoping that he can get some work in alone at the lab as everyone takes time to get together for the holiday. Harry is guaranteed to be around less with Jesse visiting, out and about taking in Earth-1 holiday traditions. Wally invited Jax to spend the holiday with them while he’s in Central City spending time with the Steins. The whole West clan take holidays very seriously. Watching them prepare the house and the festivities makes Cisco smile, even as he thinks about his family and the inevitable arguments they all get into at the holidays. He’s looking forward to the congregation of family that happens on Christmas day, seeing his nieces and nephews and his _Tia Sofi_ and her husband Frank, his _Tio Pancho_ and everyone. _Mama_ and _Lita_ will undoubtedly get into a huge argument about the cooking and the right way to make _pasteles_ and how much garlic is needed when preparing the _tostones_. It will all smell amazing and taste even better and by the time everyone has finished their first helping they’ll be speaking to each other again. But he’s not sure how the holiday is going to be without Dante to play the piano for the inevitable round of Christmas carols. He’s scared of the awkward silence and how his mother is going to look at him.

* * *

He’s totally lost in thought so he doesn’t hear anything in the lab until there’s a quiet _ahem_ behind him, and he startles. He spins around, and there is Barry, sweater still in place but antlers gone. He’s flushed and his bouncing on his feet with nervous energy.

“Hey I’m sorry—” he starts.

“No, I’m sorry!” Barry interrupts. They both look at each other and then start laughing.

“But seriously, I didn’t want to make things awkward, I just got carried away,” Barry said, looking at his feet, kicking at the floor.

“No, no, you didn’t,” Cisco rushes to assure him, unhappy that he made his friend feel this way. “I’m just… Screwed up. It’s the first holiday since Dante….”

He has to stop talking and swallow. He hasn’t actually said it aloud until just now. He pushes a strand of hair that’s fallen loose behind his ear.

“Oh god, Cisco,” Barry looks appalled. “I didn’t even think, I’m so, so sorry!”

And this isn’t really what Cisco wants to hear right now. The pity and the guilt just make it all worse. He knows that even he’s forgiven Barry for the fall out of his time traveling adventure, Barry hasn’t forgiven himself. But none of that matters. He just wants things to be warm, and festive, and good. Deal with family when the time comes.

He turns half way back to his desk to get a moment to collect himself and that’s when he spots it.

* * *

Barry is looking away, trying to figure out what to say when Cisco calls his name. He turns to his friend and sees him standing up, his arm stretched overhead. Cisco’s cheeks are flushed and he’s got one of his little mischievous smiles on his lips. The position of his arm makes the muscles in his bicep tense beneath soft flesh and Barry reminds himself not to think about that too much.

But, he corrects himself as he follows the arm up and sees the little plant hanging down from Cisco’s fingers, maybe he's allowed to think about it a little bit. Cisco is looking at him and he wearing the same kind of expression he wears when he’s Vibe—reckless and dangerous, smiling in the face of uncertainty.

Even at his most ridiculous, Cisco makes something in Barry run a little hot. He wants to show off; prove to Cisco that he’s every inch the hero Cisco has dressed him up to be. But when Cisco is wearing a smile that promises trouble a whole different kind of fire runs through him.

Barry looks into Cisco’s eyes, dark brown, almost black against the light, smile crinkling the edges, and he leans in.

* * *

Cisco hadn't thought it all the way through. The mistletoe had just been a chance to bring back Barry’s good cheer. Serendipity as a form of apology. But this is a better outcome than he expected.

Barry’s lips are winter chapped and catch on his. Barry is a little pushy, hands holding a little too tightly on the soft skin of his hips, a little too fast in his movements, tongue quick and wet against Cisco’s lips. But none of it matters when he brings his arm down, dropping the mistletoe behind Barry’s back, his hand running along the hard line of Barry’s neck, up from the shoulder, until he’s threading his fingers through Barry’s short hair. Barry lets out a little tortured eager sound and pressed closer.

 _Maybe it'll be a merry Christmas after all,_ Cisco thinks as he pulls Barry flush against him.


End file.
